How to tell if their a bad lover

So how can you tell if the person you've got your eye on will make a good lover? That depends on what you like! The good news is, taste aside, you can tell if they'll be a bad one. Here are clues your date will make a lousy bed mate.


Not at home in their own skin?
Most of us would change something about our bodies if we could but if you're sitting face to face with someone who seems downright uncomfortable with themselves, you might have cause to worry. Excess surgeries, too much makeup, overly sexy clothing, fear of eating more than a lettuce leaf. The person who tries too hard usually doesn't have the experience or self-esteem to both give and receive pleasure. Their having trouble pleasing themselves how do you think their going to please you?

Too good to be true
The ability to let loose is key to good sex. A person without vices, someone who seems perfect and takes their perfection quite seriously, is likely going to need things to be equally perfect. These people are those who see themselves as model human beings and thereby judge everyone else for their so called shortcomings and are rarely in touch with the world. When it comes to sex, being judgmental and devoid of any naughtiness (even if it's a love for ice cream at breakfast) actually translates to frigid or at least rigid. What kind of fun is that? You and your partner should be fooling around with each other and having a good time. To others it may look stupid but that sort of fun is flirtatious and meant for the two involved.

A roving eye
Some might say that the more people someone checks out the higher their sex drive. Is that true or is it a front? The reality is that if you're on a date with someone and they don't have the courtesy to stay focused on you, a passing glance at another person doesn't count, then they probably won't have much regard for you in bed either. If satisfying their own appetite is all that's on their mind, you're better off looking elsewhere for a partner. Pleasure in bed should be a two way street.

Misogynists, gynophobia and man haters
Anybody who thinks they understand the opposite sex and doesn't celebrate the differences while understanding that both genders are equally intelligent, emotional and important beings, might as well give up on ever being a truly great lover. You might as well give up on them, sooner rather than later. Some just fear women and don't know that gynophobia is what they have. Lot's of women hate men in almost the same way but it's clinical and not formulated.

What did you say?
Whether it's about sex, dinner, your day, work, the person who asks no questions has little interest. Little interest means little connection. Little connection means this person may not actually be a bad lover but they'd be a bad lover for you.

Bar Advice. One sure way to tell if they're a bad lover is if he/she says they have to leave right after the sex is over. If it's going to be short and sharp then that's all you'll get out of it.

Valentine's Day. How it started.

Ever wondered how February 14th( Valentines Day) became, the day on which we celebrate and explore love in all its many ideals, Valentine's Day.

There are many differing opinions on how Valentine's Day started.

One story say that when the Roman Empire reigned, a festival every February was held in honour of the God of Fertility and during this time, young men would choose their mate. When a Emperor named Claudius came around, he outlawed all marriages in fear that the men would not be able to fight. Young couples still fell in love though and still wished to marry and they took these desires to the Catholic Bishop Valentine who, understanding love, began to secretly marry couples. When Claudius found out, he had Valentine arrested and ordered him put to death. While waiting in jail, Valentine began exchanging letters with the jailers daughter and soon had fallen in love with her. The day he was to be beheaded, he wrote her one last note and signed it: From Your Valentine.

Another story points to Christianity in 496 A.D outlawing the pagan Lupercian Festival and replacing it with a day in February to honour the martyr St. Valentine.

A third story as to the origin of passing out cards stems from a French Count who was captured and imprisoned in London. From his cell he wrote his wife letters, including a passionate set of poems which he sent to her in February.

At the turn of the century, a new form of Valentines Day card appeared the Penny Dreadful. Up until this point, cards were relatively expensive but the Penny Dreadful changed all that. They were just what the name implied, costing only one cent and completely bad. The cards were cheaply made, the artwork was amateurish and the colouring was uneven. On top of that the verses printed on them were not the most romantic of prose. They were more often insults, taking swipes at old maids, teachers and the like. Still their low cost kept them popular for years.

For hundreds of years, Valentine's Day has been a day of symbols. You can hardly go through the day without seeing a rose (as a symbol to Venus, the Goddess of Love), images of doves and lovebirds (who mate for life) or hearts. The heart was thought to be the centre of all emotion. People believed that when they gave a heart, they were truly giving all of the love and emotion that they possibly could give.

It's past aside, Valentine's Day is the second the most popular card sending holiday just behind Christmas with one billion a cards sent a year. When the calendar turns to February, we start to think of love. February has for centuries been designated the month for lovers, with the primary celebration being on February 14, St. Valentine's Day. We send cards, flowers, and candy and our children give out Valentines in school. Valentine's Day reminds us to tell our loved ones just how much we care about them.

Bar advice. Whatever the start was, which is hard to know, we all have to remember just one thing; Love was the the main point of this and rightly so. Why? Well if, at least one thing, we remember the love that our mother, father, sister, brother and other extensions of family have given us. This brings us back to roots of seeing ourselves and how others see us as well.