Showing posts with label paradoxical. Show all posts
Showing posts with label paradoxical. Show all posts

Monday, July 2, 2007

If you had money would it bring you happiness?

Falling in love is usually rated as the strongest source of positive emotion. People report euphoria, excitement, affection, contentment, laughing. Research shows that the more sex someone has, the happier he or she is(for both men and women).

The stronger ties to friends someone has, the happier he or she is.Research shows again and again that the most important factor in happiness is having good interpersonal relations, with friends, family, and lovers.

At times it can seem paradoxical, because many of us think we can hardly wait to get home and be alone with nothing to do! Most guys think that having more money will make them happier. In fact, many put off meeting women and having a social life to
further their careers. Studies show people making $100,000 dollars are no happier than those making $30,000 dollars.

And studies show that guys making lots of money have no more sex or more sexual partners than guys living on a paycheck week to week, because they typically work longer hours, have less leisure time, and have more stress. I know what you're saying to yourself, "Give me lots of money and I'll show you I can be happy". Well here were not talking about someone striking the lottery or getting a in inheritance. Then again, what makes you think people that get that become happier?

In fact, study after study shows that it's the people who are alone with nothing to do who are typically the most unhappy. Almost universally, whether extroverted or introverted, people feel happier when they're with other people. BELONGING is a great
source of pleasure. We want to feel part of a group, whether it be with a lover, a set of friends, or a family. So being social and feeling content and happy go hand in hand. Happy people not only have more social interactions, they're also of a higher quality.

Quality in relationships is as important as quantity. Research shows that people want confidants, people in whom they can confide, more than just friends with whom they can "hang out". People want intimacy. It's the deeper relationships that allow companionship and confiding that makes people happy.

To form a close relationship involves an increasing level of self-disclosure, and without it people will still be lonely even if they have many "contacts". Studies have found that adults who had plenty of friends and spent a lot of time with them were still lonely because they talked about impersonal topics, such as sports and pop music, rather than about their real concerns.

Have you ever laid down in bed with a partner and just talked about your younger days? What about how your parents treated you? Laughed about how you got punished for stupid stuff you did? Talked to your partner about their concerns in the relationship? Things like this brings happiness from the other because they feel cared for and their partner is communicating with them.

All the scientific research, by a landslide, confirms that developing your social skills and your social relationships, be it work, family of personal, is the most promising path to happiness.

Bar advice.You don't need lots of money to do any of these things, just a new
understanding of reality and a solid foundation in the school of social interaction.